Thoughts

  Things around here have been pretty quiet lately. I'm not sure I can put into words what I feel, but I will certainly try.   When I first started this blog, I wanted it to be a journal of sorts. I wanted to document Madi and her milestones, our relationship, and our adventures as she grows up. But slowly but surely, I feel like my relationship with this blog has morphed into something very different. I am an avid follower of many blogger mama's and I love reading their stories. Some of them post everyday, if not every other day. I started posting at least two times a week. Then it got a little higher, but then I would - to say it simply- run out of things to say. I find myself searching for topics to write about here, when all I should really be doing is enjoying moments and blogging when I WANT to. I'm afraid that I've fallen away from the true purpose of starting this blog. I know a lot of Mom's nowadays struggle with this. Instead of enjoying time with your kids, you worry about taking the perfect picture, or capturing what's going on, instead of actually *being there* yourself. Keeping up a blog is time consuming and does require thought to keep up. I'm just not sure if "keeping up" is what I should be worrying about. It all sort of seems irrelevant that I'm trying to generate posts for others to read when the real purpose in the beginning was to keep this for myself and my daughter.   I have toyed with the notion of going completely private. If I do that, only people specifically invited will be able to see my blog (and blog posts). I think that maybe if I go private, I can get back to what I originally wanted to do here: journal. Also, I find myself sheilding what I post and what I say because vitually anyone can read my material. If you search "Madi and Me" on Google, my daughter shows up. While I know that pictures I post on the internet can be seen by anyone (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc) I feel like I'm spending a lot of time being vague about where we are and what we're doing. Instead of saying, "We're at her favorite park {insert name here}" I say, "She loves going to the park." It's just not as intimate, because I have a fear of oversharing when the wrong people could be reading. I feel like maybe going private will allow me to still write, share with family and friends, and I can be as open and honest as I want to.   Because I want my daughter to be able to read this later in life and laugh and smile at the things I write, I don't feel like I should censor what I say and share.   I'm not sure if any of the things said above remotely make sense. It's something I'm struggling with and feel like I should share. I haven't made a decision yet. Just contemplating my next move.       (Madi and Me is now featured on TopMommyBlogs.com! If you like reading this blog, vote for us. Just click the link, or the icon on the right side bar.)

Rose-Colored Glasses

The fake smile she gives me when I won't stop bugging her for a picture ;)

 There's been a lot of talk lately about how Mama bloggers lives seem perfect and peachy 24/7. Blogs full of filtered pictures of little ones smiling and the sun shining bright, never a stray hair in their face or messy clothes. I'll be the first to admit that my blog may seem that way. I post happy pictures and write about the fun things we do and experience. However, I have reasons for that. My life is not perfect and peachy 24/7 and I'll be the first to admit it.  I get credit for being a good mom, but the truth is, I'm a TYPICAL mom raising a TYPICAL toddler. There are phrases I repeat on a daily basis like, "don't splash all of your bath water out of the tub," "stop throwing things across the room," "you shouldn't pull your pants down in public," or the infamous "don't dump your plate out on the floor!" She challenges me in every way, just like any other toddler would. And sometimes, I don't react in the best way. I am a very patient person 90% of the time. But sometimes, we react in ways we don't mean to. We're all human.We all make mistakes, and we all have bad days.  When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a place of happiness. I wanted family to be able to read about the fun we have. I wanted to be able to share this with Madi when she's older and can appreciate all of the work I put into it. I wanted to share all of it with whomever wanted to read it. The reason for this blog is NOT to get on here and vent about how tired I am, or how many problems I have, or this or that. Everyone in this world is carrying burdens, everyone. I understand that. I have my own set of them. This blog is not here to push mine onto other people.  So, I write and post about the happy in our life.That is not me trying to be fake, or convince anyone that I live a perfect life in fairytale land. Because that is not the case. My personal pet peeve is people that are constantly looking at the bad, and ignoring the good. In a world where bad seems to be far more prevalent than good, this is my refuge. I can look and reminsice and smile. I hope that you do too, knowing that I'm sharing my piece of happiness with you.  Some pieces of happiness from the last few days: 

900+ calories burned before 10am on a Saturday makes for a very happy day.

 

Hot cocoa in my favorite mug while studying.

 

Exploring outside with Madi for hours. Her natural curiousity is amazing.

 

This cute little stone turtle to put in my garden.

 

What makes you happy?

 

(Madi and Me is now featured on TopMommyBlogs.com! If you like reading this blog, vote for us. Just click the link, or the icon on the right side bar. All it takes is 2 clicks.)