Changing Direction

When I started this blog a few years ago, I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do with it and where exactly I wanted it to end up. I wanted it to be a journal, from me to you. But I also had this idea that it could be a way to not only connect with family that I don't speak to on a regular basis, but also a way to connect with other Mom's over the internet and share ideas. Having concentrated on the latter two for the past couple of years, I have found that I was censoring what I was writing for fear of Oversharing. I know that the internet is vast and literally anyone can read my words and see the pictures I post. I was cautious of that. I didn't want to put you, or anyone else, in danger. So I would be vague and dance around the point sometimes in order to not offend any readers. Then one day, I was thinking, "This is for Madi. Not everyone else in the world. Who cares what they think?!" So, like the title says, I'm changing direction. I made the blog private (where only I can see the posts) and from now on, this will only serve as a journal. From me, to you.

I definitely feel more open to the whole thing now. I don't have to worry about using too many details or being absolutely honest about anything. This is OUR space. No one else's.

I do keep a written journal for you, which I cherish so much, but I've found this to be so much easier. I'm afraid to take the journal away from the house for fear I might misplace it so the only time I can write is when I'm home and have a free minute. However, when there's a 3 year old around, free time is few and far in between. I always have my phone or tablet with me though. So this is definitely more practical. Though I will do my best to keep the journal alive.

Anyway, you're growing, like a weed. You are FUNNY. Yesterday we were having lunch at Panera Bread and a college-aged girl walked by in a shirt that showed her entire stomach. Like, it stopped right under her boobs and her pants were low. You said, "Mommy, why does she have a baby shirt on?! She's a big girl. I can see her belly button!" You were so shocked and I couldn't stop laughing, though you didn't notice. The girl and her friend sat down at a table near us and you couldn't quit looking at her. I said, "Baby, it's not nice to stare." "I... can't... stop... staring..." you replied. You have the opinions of a 10 year old, I swear. You tell me I should re-polish my nails when they get chipped, you compliment me on my jewelry, and tell me when what I'm wearing looks bad. I can't wait to her your opinions when you actually get to be a teenager. Whew.

You've also taken an interest in dressing yourself lately. The only days I get to pick what you wear are the days that you go to school, and that's only because I get your dressed while you're still half-asleep and you barely know what's going on. When you are awake, you say, "I can't pick out my clothes, I got it!!" I have to admit, you do a very good job. Some fashion rules are broken but you always get compliments on how beautiful you look.

You're getting better at communicating. Instead of throwing fits (which you still do sometimes) you tell me what you want. There's still a whine in your voice, but hey, we're getting there. This morning you said, "I want to go to the library reeeeeally bad. Can we go?" Though that may not sound like much, it is. A few months ago it would have been, "Library, NOOOOWWW!' So, like I said, we're getting there.

Michael and Shannon recently found out that they are expecting their second baby. We talked about how there is a baby growing in Shannon's tummy and that we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, but that we would know soon. It's supposed to be a secret, per Shannon's request, but you are so tickled that you tell just about everyone we see, even if they are complete strangers. It's like you suddenly remember, get excited, and blurt out, "SHANNON'S HAVING A BABY ITS IN HER TUMMY GROWING AND WE DON'T KNOW IF ITS A GIRL BUT WE WILL ONE DAY ITS GOING TO BE SO CUTE" or whatever combination of those sentiments. You have a baby radar just like Mommy :)

I'm going to do my best to post here about every week. Hopefully this will be a good place to share stories and updates easily.

I love you.